From “I Must Be Authoritative” to “I Will Be Giving”
ALIGN Trait: Character
Subconscious Myth: “I must be authoritative.”
Conscious Alignment: “I will be giving”
Art Imitating Life: The Devil Wears Prada’s Miranda Priestly
She didn’t ask for respect. She demanded it—with icy silence and soul-splitting glares.
Miranda Priestly ruled her domain with authority, but not with generosity. Her power was undeniable, but her team’s well-being? Optional.
This leadership style wins obedience, but rarely loyalty. Fear may get people moving—but generosity gets them to stay.
The SHIFT Matrix in Action
Situation
You’ve climbed to a position of power. People look to you for direction, answers, decisions. But you start noticing something:
- No one challenges your ideas.
- Collaboration is quiet.
- Innovation is minimal.
The culture has started orbiting around you. And it’s shrinking.
Habits
You may be:
- Defaulting to telling rather than asking
- Treating information like leverage
- Controlling decisions instead of cultivating decision-makers
- Avoiding vulnerability to maintain image
These habits feed the myth that “authority equals effectiveness.” But real leaders multiply others—not mute them.
Insight
The myth says, “I must be authoritative to maintain control.”
The truth is: Authority isn’t the point.
Influence is. And influence grows when you give.
The conscious alignment is:
“I will be giving.”
“Power isn’t taken seriously when it’s hoarded. It’s trusted when it’s shared.”
Formulation
To shift from dominance to development:
Do This Now:
- Share the “why” behind decisions—not just the “what”
- Delegate not just tasks, but influence: give others a say in shaping the strategy
- Publicly recognize when your team challenges your thinking and makes things better
Example: If a team member proposes a better solution than yours, highlight it and give them the platform to lead its implementation. That moment builds more leadership in one act than a dozen closed-door directives.
Transformation
Giving leaders create a culture of empowered problem-solvers—not order-followers.
They don’t need to “maintain control” because their teams are aligned, capable, and inspired.
You still lead. But you don’t carry the weight alone.
Practical Next Step
Hold a “Leadership Shareback” session.
- Ask each direct report: “What’s one area you want more responsibility for?”
- Ask yourself: “What’s one area I’m holding too tightly?”
- Trade wisely—and follow through.
Then watch how ownership and initiative multiply.
